My Boyfriend’s Mom Kept Calling Me the Wrong Name

Family gatherings are rarely perfect, but for one woman on Reddit, Thanksgiving with her boyfriend’s family turned into a full-blown test of patience, boundaries, and self-respect. In her post, the 30-year-old explained how what should have been a joyful holiday spiraled into conflict after years of underlying tension with her boyfriend’s mother.

According to the woman, her relationship with her boyfriend had always been strained by his mother’s unwillingness to accept her. The most glaring issue was the mother’s repeated habit of calling her by the name of her boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend. Despite her boyfriend asking his mother to stop, the behavior continued, turning what might have once been seen as a careless slip into an obvious act of disrespect. Over time, this ongoing slight chipped away at the woman’s patience.

Things came to a head during a pre-Thanksgiving gathering. The woman shared that not only did her boyfriend’s mother once again use the ex’s name, but she also mocked her in front of others and suggested she should cook the holiday turkey. The jab, layered with disrespect and condescension, felt like the final straw. Though she initially agreed to bring the turkey, she ultimately decided not to follow through, assuming someone else in the large family would step in.

When Thanksgiving arrived and the turkey was nowhere to be found, the situation quickly unraveled. The absence of the centerpiece dish sparked anger, and the woman and her boyfriend found themselves at the center of a heated confrontation. Rather than resolving the matter calmly, tensions boiled over, and the couple was asked to leave the house altogether.

What stung the woman most was not just the argument with her boyfriend’s family, but her boyfriend’s silence afterward. He neither defended her actions nor criticized them, leaving her feeling isolated and uncertain about whether she had done the right thing. Turning to Reddit for advice, she asked: Was she justified in her response, or had she gone too far by skipping out on her commitment?

The responses were divided, but passionate. Some users applauded her for standing up to years of blatant disrespect, arguing that she had been more than patient and that her choice sent a powerful message. In their eyes, constantly tolerating such treatment only reinforces toxic behavior, and her refusal to play along was a step toward reclaiming her dignity. Others, however, felt that her decision not to bring the turkey may have escalated the conflict unnecessarily. They suggested that she should have addressed the issue with her boyfriend’s mother more directly, or even considered stepping away from the holiday entirely, rather than creating a situation where everyone else at the dinner was affected.

Still, many agreed that the core issue was not about the turkey at all—it was about respect. Being repeatedly called by another woman’s name, especially an ex, is deeply hurtful and dismissive. Combined with open mockery, it created a dynamic that no amount of politeness could resolve. Redditors also noted the boyfriend’s silence as a red flag, pointing out that his unwillingness to stand firmly by his partner contributed to the problem.

Ultimately, the post struck a chord because it highlighted the complexity of family dynamics and the importance of boundaries. It wasn’t just about one holiday dinner; it was about how long someone should endure disrespect before taking a stand. While the Reddit community remained split on the turkey decision itself, many supported the woman’s choice to prioritize her self-respect, even if it meant a dramatic Thanksgiving exit.