“You Know My Mom Comes Before You” — What My Husband Told Me While I Was 6 Months Pregnant
When you marry someone, you expect to come first in their life — especially when you’re six months pregnant with their child. But nothing prepared me for the moment my husband looked me in the eyes and said something I’ll never forget.
🍼 The Request That Changed Everything
I was six months pregnant — exhausted, anxious, and trying to prepare our home for the arrival of our first baby. One afternoon, I asked my husband to help me with the nursery. Nothing crazy — just move some furniture, hang a few decorations, and help create a space for our child.
Instead of saying yes, or even just asking if we could do it later, he gave me a look like I had deeply offended him.
And then he said it:
“You know my mom comes before you, right?”
I froze. Did I hear that correctly? I laughed nervously, expecting him to brush it off or admit it came out wrong. But he didn’t.
💔 Loyalty or Obsession?
He meant every word.
He told me helping with the nursery would cut into the time he had planned to spend with his mom. According to him, his mother had always come first — and she always would.
Let that sink in: I was carrying his child, struggling physically and emotionally, and all he could think about was making sure his mom didn’t feel “ignored.”
After he left to see her, I sat on the nursery floor and cried. Not because I was hormonal — but because I realized something far worse:
I wasn’t building a family with a man.
I was trapped in a triangle — and I wasn’t the priority.
📞 Then the Call Came
A little while later, his mother called me. I hoped maybe she’d offer support, or at least understand my frustration. But no — she backed him completely. She even implied that I was being selfish for asking for help when he was already under enough pressure.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My pregnancy, my health, our future child — all of it took a backseat to her ego.
🚩 Red Flags in Disguise
Looking back, the signs were there:
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He always picked up her calls immediately, no matter what we were doing.
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She often inserted herself into our decisions.
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He never set boundaries, even when she made hurtful comments.
But I ignored it. I thought things would change once we had a baby. Instead, they got worse.
✨ My Wake-Up Call
That moment — him choosing his mother over me and our unborn child — was a turning point. I realized I needed to stop hoping for change and start protecting myself and my baby.
Marriage is about partnership, not a competition with a parent. And if someone can’t prioritize their family when it matters most, they’re not ready for the responsibility that comes with it.
🧾 Final Thought
If your partner constantly puts someone else above you — especially during your most vulnerable times — believe them. Their actions are louder than any apology that might follow.
Because once someone says “my mom comes before you,” it’s not just a red flag — it’s a blaring siren.
